


you can rise again

by DidiNyx



Series: stars in our darkest nights: excerpts [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex fights everyone, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Extended Metaphors, Fate & Destiny, Fights, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, partners in crime but not really, poor burr he didn't ask for this shit, title taken from that hamildrop we all adore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 02:31:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DidiNyx/pseuds/DidiNyx
Summary: Alex scoffed, crossing his arms like they were mere schoolyard bullies and nothing more. "Please, I fucking dare you to make a move. Watch what happens." No one made Alex feel powerless.John's heart swelled in admiration, though he again didn't know how to justify his emotions. The other half of him felt scared out of his mind. He did not want to witness a fight, especially if someone as capable as Alexander was going to get hurt. No, John wouldn't allow it...Upon reflection, John had no memory of the workers calling the police.





	you can rise again

**Author's Note:**

> Home  
> A place where I can go to take this off my shoulders  
> Someone take me home...  
> I found no cure for the loneliness, I found no cure for the sickness  
> Nothing here feels like home-  
> But now I've found a home.

Whereas John stopped by the bar with his own will Alex was practically forced to. John had to escape his self-loathing thoughts and the reckless impulse to either punch someone in the face or burn something, and though not a huge alcohol person, it would surely to the job of  (ironically) sobering his emotions. Honestly, John probably wouldn't have been at the bar at all if he hadn't adopted some of his own father's habits (though John's vain pride refused to let himself believe so). Eleanor wouldn't touch much alcohol but preferred strawberry wine. Thinking of this, John became sick suddenly and pushed his glass across the table wearily.

**_Have you ever felt like nobody was there?_ **

Alex, however, needed a break from the busying streets of New York City. Alex considered himself energetic and adaptable, but still, coming from a small, isolated island to a crowded place full of various buildings, cars, and no-nonsense people, a break was needed ever so often to prevent losing himself in the change. 

Besides, it was Burr's fault for being so overwhelmingly cautious.

Face flushed and heart beating wildly, Alex thought _Fuck it_ , and followed Burr's leading walk inside the bar (though he considered this beneath himself). Burr was one of the first people Alex had met in the workplace and already thought it was his personal duty to be stuck up Alex's ass, advising Alex as if he was an annoying kid and keeping him out of trouble ("Talk less, smile more."). However, Burr was highly respected and did his duty well as a lawyer, and Alex had to respect that as a lawyer himself. (Honestly, the guy wasn't too bad, and Alex could admit he fell for the man's classic charm. But still, how could someone be so indecisive over everything? Why did he have to care so much about Alex in the first place? _He's not my mom or my dad. He can fuck off_.)

**_Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?_ **

(Anger and bitterness could really drown out Alex's logic, in spite of the fact that this was one of his greatest qualities.)

"You're better off here," Burr said cooly but with an undertone of chiding that didn't go unnoticed by Alex. "Sit down, don't make a scene. Maybe the moron didn't follow us."

Upon entering the bar he refused to meet Burr's wishes or reply to Burr's comments and so the latter, exasperated, ordered Alex's drink for him. Alex threw his notebook down at the closest seat to the small window, far from anyone else. Thankfully, it was sunset on a Tuesday, and barely anyone else was there- just a few older men and women. No one really noticed him... except John.

He wasn't eavesdropping on purpose, but the fuming, obviously pissed off ginger with none other than New York's most noted prodigy was _right there._ John had to blink a few times. When _he_ had moved to New York, he had met Burr at King's College. (Somehow convincing Henry to go to NYC instead of some South Carolinian school worked.) Curious (and with nothing better to do anyway), John tried to keep his eye on the interesting duo. Burr- the diplomat as always- carried two drinks back to Alex, who bluntly refused them and continued to scribble in his notebook with such force John was surprised he didn't rip the whole page. ( _Were all redheads dramatic?_ )

As Burr looked like he was contemplating his next advantage over Alex, John grabbed hold of his glass and sipped as he eyed them. Alex eventually looked up once, and the two met eyes: cold, sharp eyes meeting wide, interested eyes. Alex's expression went from anger to confusion to calm and appraising. John had the vague feeling that Alex could see entirely through him, and though he didn't want to he forced his gaze back down with a small, nervous smile. He didn't catch Alex smiling back, and definitely wasn't aware of the strange calmness that passed over Alex. He felt the déjà vu, too.

It was, seemingly, an insignificant exchange. Yet John couldn't help to glance back at Alex, seeing if maybe the man was still studying him. But no. Alex was focused once more on his piece of paper. John tried to find an explanation for his heart rate but couldn't justify it wholeheartedly. _It's the alcohol_ , and so he sipped again.

Alex was coming up with his own excuses about why suddenly he wanted to engage with the attractive man with a whole halo of dark, curly hair and a whole constellation of freckles adorning his face.

Fate had taken its toll, but what about destiny?

**_Have you ever felt like you could disappear?_ **  
**_Like you could fall, and no one would hear?_ **

Suddenly, the doors flung open, and all hell broke loose. Three guys entered abruptly, obviously on a mission. There impatient, angry eyes matched Alex's and the started to mumble to themselves incoherently. John frowned, brows furrowed. For some reason, he felt anxious. Like this was a warning, like he had to leave as soon as possible. He glanced at Burr and Alex. Burr's eyes were wide, and John immediately sensed the danger. As if on cue, Alex finally looked up and confirmed this guess, momentarily matching Burr's shocked, gazed expression before masking it under a facade of calmness John didn't know possible under such heat.

Burr grabbed Alex's sleeve as if trying to warn him, but Alex spoke up boldly: "Ah, so you've found me, boys?" in a rough, teasing New York accent.

Burr facepalmed, and John felt like doing the same. He was considering whether _brave_ or _stupid_ matched Alex more.

"Alexander," one of them growled, and John felt his own heart lurch. "Do you know how much trouble you're in?" 

Despite their threatening tone, Alex stood up and straightened. Honestly, it should have been pathetic, the short, scrawny ginger against three big males who looked quite similar to thugs, though John had no true experience in those matters. But Alex was, in fact, intimidating with that inextinguishable fire in his eyes. Like embers that would scorch you easily with no remorse if given the chance.

Stubbornly, Alex raised his chin and smirked effortlessly. "Trouble?" He cocked his head. "And why would that be?"

"Don't play dumb with me," another man spoke. "Talk shit and you get knocked to the floor."

By this time, workers were already muttering to themselves, ready to make a move by either calling the police or somehow verbally commanding peace without being dragged into the affair themselves. 

Alex didn't seem to notice and scoffed, crossing his arms like they were mere schoolyard bullies and nothing more. "Please, I fucking dare you to make a move. Watch what happens." No one made Alex feel powerless.

John's heart swelled in admiration, though he again didn't know how to justify his emotions. The other half of him felt scared out of his mind. He did _not_ want to witness a fight, especially if someone as capable as Alexander was going to get hurt. No, John wouldn't allow it...

**_No matter what they tell you_ **  
**_Someone will come running to take you home_ **

"That's it, I ain't playing anymore," was the last sentence spoken before all three men caught up to Alex in lightning speed, throwing punches as Alex tried blindly to fight back, making desperate attempts of kicking and pulling. John gaped as he watched Alex duck and gracefully turn the opposite direction to escape, which _should_ have been an advantage given the man's smaller size, but his oppressors pulled him back. Losing balance, Alex fell with a hiss and a sea of curses and screams. It took one punch and the sight of scarlet blood coming from Alex's nose for John to drunkenly commence in battle.

Upon reflection, John had no memory of the workers calling the police but he could vaguely remember someone pulling him back from the fight, though he squirmed free and continued to viciously attack Alex's bullies and block the latter from any other attempts of harm, as useless as it seemed. Alex, shocked but now eternally grateful, allowed John to finish them off before dragging himself underneath a nearby table to collect his senses and stop the gushing blood from his nose and mouth. He once kicked at a man that was trying to flip John over to the ground but bumped his head in the process so quickly vetoed the idea.

**_Tomorrow there'll be more of us_ **  
**_Telling the story of tonight_ **  
**_Out of the shadows_ **

The police soon arrived, barking orders. John and the rest of the group were separated. He felt someone's tight grip on his arm, so he tensed and begin moving to throw another punch but recognized the uniform and commanding voice so he faltered, growing limp in the policeman's arms. He half-listened to the orders and demands of those around him, and as soon as John's vision focused he saw Alex already in handcuffs, a female officer pressing a towel against his bleeding nose. He was panting, and John was sure he was too. Alex met his eyes, this time vulnerable, tired, thankful.

Alex nodded once. That was all the encouragement John needed. He smiled, something genuine in spite of the fact that the worry of possibly going to jail and _worse_ his father finding out about the event... It almost didn't matter. Alexander was okay.

**_All is new,_ **

**_it's only a matter of time_ **

Burr had apparently left the scene, but he was spotted once John and Alex were taken outside for questioning. The police asked him questions and eventually dismissed them so they could get clear answers out of the two bleeding men now slumped up against the bar's outdoor walls.

John and Alex sat there together, exhausted and dumb of speech. Alex took in a shaky breath and laid his head down on John's shoulder to the latter's astonishment. They were strangers, yet this felt intimate and right. Flashbacks of memories that seemed so far away yet close to John were visualized in his mind. Smoke, gunshots, bayonets, a whole damn revolution. It all seemed clear. John smiled and tenderly did the same, nuzzling Alex's red hair like they knew each other since birth. Like they were some Bonnie and Clyde duo, partners in crime. Considering the police, this wasn't too far off. The visions stopped but the feeling was still there.

They were questioned. But then released. Perhaps they figured the two young adults weren't worth the fight. Maybe they understood the situation. Regardless, they were left with a warning and were told to get some sleep, and one officer even returned Alex's notebook which had been left on Alex's seat.

John, feeling like he was completely hungover now, turned to Alex as the sirens and red and blue lights disappeared beyond the city. It was now dark, the lamplight making Alex's pale skin and bright hair appear more divine and charming. Lips stained red from blood and with the disheveled appearance of a die-hard thug himself or alcoholic, John now felt his fascination for the man grow.

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. It was the total opposite of seeing the man in front of those men, confident and charismatic, maybe even careless. John's heart twisted. He knew this image was wrong. Mutely, he closed the space between Alex and himself and embraced the latter gently as if protecting him from farther harm. Alex had no trouble responding with arms just as welcoming and in sync. 

"Let's go home," John said, choking back sobs he didn't even know were there. He wiped the tears from Alex, who nodded, clinging to John as if for dear life. "Yes," Alex agreed with a humorless chuckle. "Take me home, John," he replied softly.

Neither recalled Alex ever knowing John's name beforehand, but it wasn't discussed nor debated. 

**_I met you in the dark, you lit me up_ **  
**_You made me feel as though I was enough_ **

They held hands in a silent agreement of trust along their walk to go home- wherever that was. Alex's apartment? John's small house he rented a few months ago that was still under construction? Damn, at that point, it didn't matter a bit. Passing streetlamps and sidewalks and endless buildings, Alex once looked up at the sky and frowned, pointing. John followed his gaze.

_Stars?_

"This is New York City," Alex said through a wheeze that sounded almost hysterical. "There aren't any stars in the city's sky. Especially not the city that never sleeps."

"They're out tonight, though," John said softly. He finally took in Alex's appearance again, a light, fond expression crossing his features. "Perhaps the universe knows we've met."

Alex returned the expression. "Mm, I have to correct you there."

John raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"You mean they know we've returned."

John didn't argue with his logic. They were found.

Again.

**_I knew I loved you then_ **  
**_But you'd never know_ **  
**_'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go_ **

Alex squeezed John's hand. Faithfully, he held on.

**Author's Note:**

> This is taken from chapter 3 of a big fanfic I'm working on. If you're interested, please check it out! :) It elaborates on all the themes here. I really want feedback on it. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14004696/chapters/32250036
> 
> References:  
> "Home" by MGK, X-Ambassadors and Bebe Rexha (summary)  
> "Found Tonight" by Lin-Manuel Miranda ft. Ben Platt  
> "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur


End file.
